Living and eating intuitively

What are your eating habits, and how do you handle your cravings? Where do we find the balance between eating healthy and healing food, and when is the time to experience life and enjoy a guilt-free slice of cake? 

Over the years, I've noticed these patterns in myself: 

 My childhood and adolescent years 

Growing up, most of the food we consumed as a family came from our garden. Most of the meals would consist of meat, mainly pork and potatoes. We would harvest our fruits and vegetables and bake our cakes containing cups of sugar, but no one seemed to be overweight or suffer from diseases.

My grandmothers owned farms and a lot of land, so most of the meat, eggs, and dairy products would come from them. The chickens ran free and were fed vegetable peels or grains. The eggs had dark orange yolk, and the milk was full fat, unfiltered and unpasteurised, which made a delicious, rich and creamy butter, cream, cheese or cottage cheese.

The pigs took years to grow before they were slaughtered for food. The memories of the pigs being killed, up to this day, make my body freeze because of all the suffering I felt that the animals had to go through.

But it was a slow living. People followed the seasons, they lived in harmony and a flow with nature. Nature fed us and the animals that grew on the farms. You were able to build a relationship and a deeper connection with the animals you raised and connect to their sacrificial purpose here on earth to be used to feed the family. 

My life in the UK 

When I moved to the UK, some of my cravings and food choices changed. In the beginning, still wired in my habitual behaviours, I would look for comfort in food, which would remind me of home and my roots.

Living in a foreign country surrounded by cultures and tastes unfamiliar to my taste buds was a new experience. I stuck to what was familiar. Lithuania economically wasn't the strongest country. The Soviet Union's influence still lingered in many areas of life and business. What was available in the Western world would take roughly ten years or more to show up on supermarket shelves and would have a hefty price tag.

One of the things that I was hungry for was chocolate. Buying a Snickers bar in Lithuania at that point felt like a treat. It wasn't something my parents bought regularly, so buying a pack of ten in the UK for a couple of £'s made my inner child very happy. So I ate a lot of chocolate. :) 

My days as a student

I spent my university days eating paninis, sandwiches, and jacket potatoes with baked beans and cheese. That's where the busy, large-city lifestyle caught up with me. I would still cook my dinners at home, but by then, I would also have an occasional pizza because life was getting busy and stressful.

I would drink Extra Shot Americano's and top that up with Redbull to be on top of my coursework assignments, which ended me up on a drip in a hospital. I didn't even know that such a thing as work-life balance existed. My cholesterol levels would always be high due to stress and some poor diet choices.

My spiritual awakening happened in my mid-twenties when I woke up one day with an awareness that I needed to buy myself a juicer. That's when everything started changing for me. I started reversing the damage I had made with processed food and lack of self-awareness.   

Owning a gym

Soon after, I opened the gym business. Fresh out of university, I was applying the skills and the knowledge I gained in business and finance but needed more understanding about the fitness side of the business. My business partner was responsible for that. I continued to drink my green juices and started diving deeper into nutrition, sports nutrition, and obesity prevention to help with some of the concerns that my clients had.

Many of them have been living a very similar lifestyle to the one I used to live during my days at the university. The life demands were high, and they needed more time to cook or prepare healthy meals. This resonated with me because I worked very long hours in the early stages of the business. A glass of green daily juice wasn't enough to sustain my healthy lifestyle, so I had to start thinking about adding more nutrient-dense foods to my diet.

I was applying the knowledge I gained from nutrition training. I was counting my carbs, fats, and protein to be on top of my game, an unnecessary habit I picked up while surrounded by bodybuilders. It helped me realise that you can't put yourself in a framework of 'if you are a woman, you consume this, and if you are a man, you consume this'. It was unhealthy and unsustainable.

I wasn't getting enough fat because I wanted my abs always to show, which, with the already high demands and stress of running your business, was messing up with my hormones. I also noticed the patterns with some clients who would find it challenging to stick to their calorie consumption-based diets unless they were preparing for the fitness or bodybuilding competition and were motivated to achieve their desired result. I had to investigate and find a solution to help me and my clients achieve tangible long-term results.  

Holistic Health

That's when I started diving deeper into the holistic side of health and how our lifestyles are directly linked to the diseases we experience in our bodies. That helped me realise that each of our bodies is different and explains the resistance people face to a structured cookie-cutter approach to dieting.

That was a point in my life when I felt the most balance. The business was picking up, the responsibilities were shared, I had more time to engage in activities I loved, and I had time to rest and cook delicious and nourishing meals. My fridge was stacked with food containers for the whole week. I did yoga twice a week, cardio most mornings and heavy weights training three to four times a week. I was happy. My body was in harmony. I was getting enough sleep and even hit my personal deadlift record of 100kg! My ego was pleased. :) 

Online Wellness Space

Moving my business into an online wellness space, I started noticing a lot of rules of what is healthy and should be consumed and what will cause you a disease. That gave me food anxiety and, looking back, even a mild eating disorder. I cut out gluten, dairy, sugar, caffeine, alcohol, and meat out of fear that I might get a disease. I replaced them with plant-based options, and on occasions when I would break my strict rules, I would feel guilty and judgemental because this was not what I was supposed to be eating. In my mind, I labelled it as unhealthy.

Cleaning my fridge and pantry in this way helped deepen my understanding and awareness of my body. I noticed how overconsumption of sugar, meat, wheat, and dairy causes inflammation in my body and the bodily symptoms linked to that. It helped to cleanse my body and give me a sense of vitality, but it wasn't in harmony with me. 

Intuitive Living 

I have found more balance in recent years. Loving myself eased the anxieties and judgment about the food I was eating. I dropped the external expectations and the conditioning I received during my training and certifications, and I now use the wisdom and knowledge I have in my own body.

I trust my intuition and eat intuitively, which requires self-honesty. Some of my cravings are linked to how my ancestors used to eat. Whenever seasons change, my cravings change. When the temperatures drop outside, I crave meat because my body needs more fat to keep warm. I tried to override that inner knowing many times, focusing on plant-based fat sources, but I would feel my body shivering all the time, so I stopped fighting and accepted that our bodies know best what they need.

After years of experimentation and applying all the knowledge I gained, I now call myself an intuitive living and eating coach because it is truly lived and experienced physically and intuitively.

Emotional eating

An important aspect to mention is emotional eating. Many of our eating habits are linked to emotional well-being and feelings we would rather numb than feel. It requires a lot of self-honesty and self-awareness, which can be built and practised by learning to pause and be with what is inside our bodies, minds and guts. We are wired to feel, but it is not always comfortable. No one wants to feel a paralysing energy of fear. But befriending my emotions has been incredibly healing and transformational. I stopped numbing my feelings of unworthiness with sugar and processed carbs and accepted myself as a whole with my shadows, allowing myself to embrace my gifts.

You are not your emotions, but they are part of you. Many food choices could be linked to deeper patterns and addictions we would reject instead of accepting them as an integral part of who we are. Sometimes, we need a safe space and someone to hold us space so we can gently unravel the hidden parts of ourselves. If you feel brave and can conquer them yourself, by all means, do. There is a lot of freedom in that. But we all need help occasionally, someone who would help us see our blind spots. 

Food + Love

We all know about the power of intention and how setting a simple intention can shift our whole perspective on life and transform our day or the projects we are working on. 

I have noticed that whenever I would visit my aunts in Lithuania, they would prepare so much food. The salads would have mayo, which is never on my grocery list. Most dishes would have meat as the base with creamy dairy-based sauces. But everything would taste delicious. I would never experience bloating or indigestion, my skin wouldn't break out, and all I would feel is love. 

Love is what heals us.  

The chicken soup for the soul is a real thing!

In recent months, I noticed that my food cravings started to change. I added foods I would typically never consume to my grocery shopping list, like cottage cheese. I trusted my body and my intuition.

As I embodied more love, I started seeing everything as love. As judgments against myself began to dissipate, so did the judgements against the food slowly started to dissolve. I still have discernment and common sense, but I trust my intuition and body to make those choices for me.        

As I found peace with myself, I found peace with my food. 

When my aunties shared their food, they also shared their peaceful and loving connection with their creations. 

Before you judge yourself about some of your food choices, allow yourself to pause. Notice what you are feeling and what is moving through you. Get honest. You will get to break some of your destructive food behaviours and make choices from the place of Love, nourishment and healing. I share my food journey with you to show you that we evolve and that our choices are mostly linked to the stressors we experience in our lives.